I gave birth to my son Björn in September 2020 via emergency section after an at home water birth plan was foiled by a pre eclampsia diagnosis at 42 weeks pregnant.
During my entire pregnancy I had been focusing on a natural birth at home with the support of my brilliant midwife who I was lucky enough to receive continuous care throughout from.
I really wanted a natural birth
I did a Positive Birth Company Course to help prepare myself and write up my birthing plan. A big focus of mine was always breastfeeding and how a natural birth would help facilitate a successful start to it. All these plans promptly went out the window when at my 42 week check up it was discovered I had developed pre eclampsia and my body was going into distress.
A big focus of mine was always breastfeeding and how a natural birth would help facilitate a successful start to it.
In a last ditch effort to labour as naturally as possible, a lot of string pulling was done and I was allowed two hours in the hospital birthing centre to bring on labour after my waters broke. When this didn’t happen I was taken to be induced.
13 hours and multiple C-section rejections later…
I was physically and emotionally distressed that everything I had wanted was failing but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from breastfeeding. I was so determined that despite everything, that was going to happen. 13 hours, multiple C-section rejections later I had three surgeons in my room trying to convince me.
It was only when my son’s heart rate begin to drop and he become distressed that I conceded. It was a nuchal cord which is why he wasn’t coming out and practically springing back up. There was a long wait until we heard his cries and he was placed onto me. The first thing I said was I wanted to feed him then and there. With the help of my midwife I was able to feed him immediately. Under the harsh lights of the operating room he latched on perfectly and fed, also having his first poo all over me!
I was lucky to receive a private room and dad stay with me overnight. He fed multiple times but I needed help as my large breasts and inability to move myself made me worried I’d suffocate him. We found the ‘rugby hold’ was ideal, facilitated by a cushion under him. I was able to dose off comfortable with dad keeping an eye.
Suspected sepsis at two days old
What I thought was a good start to breastfeeding (despite what had happened with the birth) quickly went south when Björn was rushed into hospital at two days old with suspected sepsis.
A long day at the hospital during Covid times was horeendous. No support from dad was allowed and I experienced some the worst treatment I have ever received. All this meant my son wasn’t getting adequately fed. It took every drop of energy to feed him and get his vitals back up before being released back home.
Tongue tie procedure
A few days later, and many complaints from me about nipple soreness, and I was referred to a tongue tie specialist. An upsetting but quick procedure made the world of difference immediately. Straight away it was more comfortable and my nipple healed quickly.
Things were made more complicated as an injury to my left breast when I was younger meant I could only feed him on the right side. Something I was warned could lead to complications but no, my breasts quickly adjusted. For 22 months I fed him on one side only with no lasting difference between them. I was very lucky never to develop mastitis or any other problems. It’s amazing what our body is capable of doing.
Things were made more complicated as an injury to my left breast when I was younger meant I could only feed him on the right side.
Pumping milk out of necessity
A relationship breakdown early on meant bottles were introduced and thankfully accepted well. My pumping journey wasn’t as successful. I didn’t enjoy it as much and the mental block made it harder to express but we got there. I found eating chocolate and looking at baby pictures and videos with the sounds of him crying helped stimulate my milk.
Breastfeeding became just second nature and one of the few good things about covid meant a lot of time at home together just feeding. We stuck with the rugby pose mostly which meant I had both hands to eat which came in handy with the many hours of feeding early on.
I’m glad I had researched during pregnancy to know this was normal and wasn’t a sign on low supply.
Stopping breastfeeding
I didn’t plan how long I was going to continue for as it was just so easy and comforting to us both. As time went on I was thinking his second birthday was going to be the time when we stopped breastfeeding. However, a lack of interest from both of us meant it stopped two months before.
There was no momentous last feed, it just slowly dropped off as his appetite for food grew as well as his independence from me. I felt comfortable settling him without it as we had been working on that for a while. Thankfully we didn’t encounter any problems.
There was no momentous last feed, it just slowly dropped off as his appetite for food grew as well as his independence from me.
I’m glad I trusted myself throughout and put faith in the fact we would get through it. Like everything else we did together.
