With this year’s theme of World Breastfeeding Week focusing on supporting working parents, it got me thinking about wider society and the part we must play with enabling breastfeeding also.
I follow a lot of breastfeeding support groups, to gain knowledge, plus to try and help other mums if I have been in a similar situation and share my own experience.
Negativity around breastfeeding is everywhere
Over the last few weeks, the same theme has been running through all the posts, friends and family members negatively talking about breastfeeding and the choice the mum is making. It is potentially because of summer holidays and people are seeing each other more, maybe for the first time in a few years as a result of the Covid pandemic.
The best advice I ever received about breastfeeding was to “Never take advice about breastfeeding from someone who never breastfed.”
New mothers are easy fodder for people’s criticisms
It is hard though when you are a first-time mum and you are hearing a lot of negative comments about your choices. Unfortunately for new mums it just does not seem to be just about how you feed your child. It can be how you choose to sleep, whether in a cot or co-sleep, contact napping or even how you dress your child. I know there will be mums out there reading this and nodding their heads, as it seems to be an every day occurrence.
When did it become acceptable to target mums in this way? Like they are easy fodder, vulnerable, trying to navigate motherhood for the first time, have not slept in weeks and potential have no emotional or physical support to help them through this time.
Four simple words can make all the difference
There is a simple way to enable breastfeeding and help new mums. It was a sentence said to me at my most vulnerable time 3 months post baby.
“How are you feeling”?
For me it led to a crumbling, cascade of tears that did not seem to stop for a least an hour. All that emotion boiling up inside me and waiting to explode. That is the reality of how words can impact a new mum!
So instead of belittling a mum’s choices, let us get behind them and support her. Support families. They are raising the next generation!
Instead of belittling a mum’s choices, let us get behind them and support her.
Ways in which we can support a breastfeeding mum at home
When visiting a new mum who is breastfeeding there are some simple things we can all do to help and support them:
- After the baby is finished a feed, offer to take the baby so mum can sleep, shower, or eat.
- Whilst the mum is feeding instead of watching her like a hawk, go make food, put on a wash, or do a general tidy.
- If there are older kids in the house, take them out for an hour so mum can focus on what she is doing.
- Bring a meal with you that can be frozen for the family.
If a breastfeeding mum visits you:
- Offer her a comfortable chair to feed her baby, but do not feel the need to hide her in a corner away from everyone else. She may look for a quiet place to feed, but allow the mum to lead on this.
- Ask if you can make her something to eat or offer a glass of water. It is important for breastfeeding mums to stay hydrated.
- Suggest to her that she is more than welcome to lay down for an hour in a bedroom, whilst you mind the baby.
- Above all if she starts talking about how hard breastfeeding is, do not immediately suggest that she switch to formula. Believe me a breastfeeding mum has already researched all her feeding options beforehand. Instead ask her what you could do to help, sometimes mums just need to vent and have a safe space and a friendly ear.
Ways in which we can support breastfeeding out and about
If you see a breastfeeding mum in a café:
- Ask her if she needs help with an order, offer to do it for her whilst she is feeding. Ask if there is anything she needs help with.
In Ireland, where I live, it will take a massive societal shift for breastfeeding to become more commonplace. Mums have been leading that charge by preparing themselves better for breastfeeding. More hospitals are now encouraging colostrum harvesting in pregnancy, offering breastfeeding preparation classes, and allowing more women post-natal, time to establish breastfeeding instead of discharge within 48 hours. But that is frankly all for nothing, if they get home to an unsupportive environment.
Be that support for a breastfeeding mum. If you hear breastfeeding being mocked or a breastfeeding mother being shamed for her choices, please stand up for her. She may not have a voice in a crowd of negativity.
Trust her choices.
Enable her to feed.