Become a contributor and register to submit your story!
  • Login
  • Register
No Result
View All Result

No products in the cart.

Boobingit
  • Mama Stories
  • Breastfeeding and…
    • All
    • Being prepared
    • Covid19
    • Doing it longterm
    • Products + Reviews
    • Returning to work
    • Self-care
    • Showbiz
    • Sleep
    • Style
    • Support
    • The benefits
    • The challenges
    Stacey Solomon breastfeeding baby Belle

    8 of the best celebrity breastfeeding moments from March 2023

    “I was blown away by the amount of milk I was able to produce for my premature baby”

    Cake Maternity pumpkin pumping bra

    What maternity/nursing bra works best with my breast pump

    Nicole Mason-Rawle hypnobirthing

    Hypnobirthing may not be what you think it is – here’s why

    Breastfeeding my son with Down Syndrome has been hard but it’s given me a sense of empowerment

    Breastfeeding my son with Down Syndrome has been hard but empowering

    Laid back nursing – what it is and how it can be beneficial

    Do you breastfeed in secret? 

    Trending Tags

    • breastfeeding
    • covid vaccine and breastfeeding
    • breastfeeding and Covid19
    • Hypnobirthing and breastfeeding
    • boobingit podcast
    • Latched breastfeeding bra
    • breastfeeding support
    • diy breast milk soap
    • Sleep
    • Covid19
    • Being prepared
    • Returning to work
    • Self-care
    • Showbiz
    • Style
    • The benefits
    • The challenges
    • Doing it longterm
  • Resources
    • Guides
      • Breastfeeding after giving birth
      • Breastfeeding after a c-section
      • Breastfeeding a baby in NICU
      • Breastfeeding the unsettled baby
      • Breastfeeding and Down Syndrome
      • Breastfeeding positions
      • Responsive feeding
      • Breastfeeding and teething
      • Breastfeeding in public
      • Breastfeeding at Christmas
      • Breastfeeding multiples
      • Expressing milk
      • Breast refusal
      • Bottle refusal
      • Tongue Tie in babies
      • Mastitis
      • Relactation and Induced Lactation
      • Breast milk soap
      • Babywearing
      • Weaning a nursing child
      • Transitioning baby to solid foods
    • A-Z Glossary
  • The Podcast
  • Contributors
  • Shop
    • Baby & Breastfeeding Essentials
    • Boobingit Merch
  • Buy Our Book
  • Mama Stories
  • Breastfeeding and…
    • All
    • Being prepared
    • Covid19
    • Doing it longterm
    • Products + Reviews
    • Returning to work
    • Self-care
    • Showbiz
    • Sleep
    • Style
    • Support
    • The benefits
    • The challenges
    Stacey Solomon breastfeeding baby Belle

    8 of the best celebrity breastfeeding moments from March 2023

    “I was blown away by the amount of milk I was able to produce for my premature baby”

    Cake Maternity pumpkin pumping bra

    What maternity/nursing bra works best with my breast pump

    Nicole Mason-Rawle hypnobirthing

    Hypnobirthing may not be what you think it is – here’s why

    Breastfeeding my son with Down Syndrome has been hard but it’s given me a sense of empowerment

    Breastfeeding my son with Down Syndrome has been hard but empowering

    Laid back nursing – what it is and how it can be beneficial

    Do you breastfeed in secret? 

    Trending Tags

    • breastfeeding
    • covid vaccine and breastfeeding
    • breastfeeding and Covid19
    • Hypnobirthing and breastfeeding
    • boobingit podcast
    • Latched breastfeeding bra
    • breastfeeding support
    • diy breast milk soap
    • Sleep
    • Covid19
    • Being prepared
    • Returning to work
    • Self-care
    • Showbiz
    • Style
    • The benefits
    • The challenges
    • Doing it longterm
  • Resources
    • Guides
      • Breastfeeding after giving birth
      • Breastfeeding after a c-section
      • Breastfeeding a baby in NICU
      • Breastfeeding the unsettled baby
      • Breastfeeding and Down Syndrome
      • Breastfeeding positions
      • Responsive feeding
      • Breastfeeding and teething
      • Breastfeeding in public
      • Breastfeeding at Christmas
      • Breastfeeding multiples
      • Expressing milk
      • Breast refusal
      • Bottle refusal
      • Tongue Tie in babies
      • Mastitis
      • Relactation and Induced Lactation
      • Breast milk soap
      • Babywearing
      • Weaning a nursing child
      • Transitioning baby to solid foods
    • A-Z Glossary
  • The Podcast
  • Contributors
  • Shop
    • Baby & Breastfeeding Essentials
    • Boobingit Merch
  • Buy Our Book
  • Login
  • Register
No Result
View All Result

No products in the cart.

Boobingit
No Result
View All Result
Home Breastfeeding And... Self-care

Breastfeeding and sex are not mutually exclusive

Danielle Facey by Danielle Facey
January 6, 2022
in Breastfeeding And..., Self-care, The challenges
0
Legs of a couple sleeping in bed

A lack of libido postpartum and particularly whilst breastfeeding, is a common but rarely discussed issue among nursing moms. Whilst you probably talk about everything from the size of your baby’s poos to the evolving colour of your nipples with other moms, navigating sex – or a lack of it whilst breastfeeding is seldom a topic of conversation.

If you have lost your libido since becoming a mom, or you are struggling with other barriers to resuming your love life, you are not alone and here’s why:

Prolactin: Great for milk making, not love-making

Prolactin is the hormone responsible for stimulating your breasts to produce milk. However, it is also associated with a reduced sex drive (1). This means that whilst your milk supply may be abundant, the desire to be amorous may not.

There is little that you can do to alter your hormone levels, but be assured that as your little one grows and consumes other foods and fluids, your milk supply will decrease and your hormone levels will regulate. Until that time, being open and honest with your partner is key to maintaining your bond. Making time to be vulnerable with one another will help to keep you connected even in the temporary absence of physical intimacy.

Boobs are for baby

Particularly in the early days of breastfeeding, you or your partner may see your boobs as off-limits when it comes to sex. Thinking of your breasts as for your baby is common and normal – after all, for now they may be their sole source of nutrition and comfort. You may have sore, tender and leaky nipples too – hardly a recipe for romance. It is important to remember that whilst you may experience some initial tenderness, you should not experience pain while breastfeeding. If you do, you should seek advice from a lactation consultant as soon as possible.

Leaky boobs are an inconvenient but natural part of breastfeeding life. It may feel odd at first if your boobs leak during intimate moments, but if you expect it to happen, laugh and talk about it with your partner, it need not be a barrier to the two of you getting close. If it is a passion killer for either of you, keep your bra on and wear nursing pads as you make love. Again, the leaking will reduce in time as your babe gets older and your supply regulates.

Feeling touched out

Whether you are nursing a colicky newborn or a teething toddler, it is incredibly common to feel touched out at some point in your breastfeeding journey. If possible, make a plan each day for at least some time when you are not being touched by anyone – your children or your partner. Ultimately you and your partner will benefit from you having this me-time and so it is in their interest as well as yours to make it happen.

If you are nursing a child over 12 months old who is consuming plenty of other food, you may consider introducing some boundaries and moving away from on-demand nursing. They are after all, still your boobs and you get to decide how and when they are touched. If you have always breastfed your babe responsively, expect there to be some resistance as you change this, but introduce these changes anyway if they are what you need. Comfort your child in other ways sometimes or use distraction if you simply do not want to whip out a boob again. Taking back a little ownership of your body will help you to feel less depleted and more likely to want to be touched intimately too.

Black couple in bed

Oh. So. Tired.

As a breastfeeding mama, you may also be sleep deprived and quite frankly, exhausted. This may be especially true if your nursling is more wakeful than sleepy. Sleep deprivation can lead to elevated stress-levels and the stress hormone cortisol is another passion killer. Combat this by practicing breathing exercises and meditating to calm your nervous system.

Talk to your partner too about how once you are more rested, you will have energy for more exciting pursuits. Maximize on rest and sleep by cosleeping or breastsleeping and by having your partner wake up with your children as often as possible, so that you can have a lie-in. Explain to your other half that the sexiest thing they can do for you right now is the laundry or the dishes. Whatever it is that you need to feel less tired, ask your lover for just that.

No time!

Whilst bed-sharing may give you as much sleep as possible, it could also be a barrier to intimacy. Three in a bed may make for fewer opportunities for love-making whenever the mood strikes. My top tips are to wait until your little one is deep asleep and use white noise to disguise any sounds that might wake them up. Take your party to the bedroom floor or another room if possible. No, it may not sound as sexy as your pre-baby exploits, but actually the most important thing is that you make time for one another. This may not be your season for four hour romps in every room of the house, but that does not mean that you can’t find the time and space for a quickie!

Another useful tip is to make time for one another during the daytime whilst your babe is with a loving caregiver. Find a time when you can both be off work and spend a few hours together undisturbed. Daytime dates are a seriously underrated but valuable way to reconnect with your partner postpartum. They may not be possible very often, but whenever they are, seize the opportunity to spend time alone as couple.

Physical discomfort

Many moms experience physical traumas during labour that may take longer than anticipated to heal. From episiotomies and pelvic floor damage to vaginal dryness, there are many reasons why sex may not be comfortable for you postpartum. Painful intercourse need not be the norm for you though and you should always seek medical advice if you experience pain during sex.

Vaginal dryness while breastfeeding is caused by reduced levels of oestrogen (2). Again, this will improve in time as your little one gets older and nurses less; until that time, lubricants can help. There are lots of over the counter options available to try, or you could try natural lubricants such as unrefined, organic coconut oil or 100% pure aloe vera gel. Experiment with your partner to see what works best for you. A word of caution: because of its anti microbial, alkaline properties, coconut oil could make you more prone to developing thrush or bacterial vaginosis (3). Experiment to find out what works best for you and your lover.

Mental blocks

Mental barriers to making love while breastfeeding are incredibly common. Many moms struggle with poor body image postpartum and feel self-conscious about having sex. A sense of a loss of identity as a woman independent of being a mother may be partly to blame. How can you feel sexy if you spend 10-12 hours a day attached to you baby and listening to nursery rhymes?

Having time for yourself is absolutely crucial to feeling like a sexual being and not just a nurturer and carer. When did you last spend a few hours simply doing something that you love that was entirely for you and no-one else? When did you last wear clothes and underwear that made you feel like a sexy siren? When did you last have a moment for completely indulgent self-love, self-care and self-pleasure? Talk about these things with your partner and make a plan together so that you can have regular me-time to feel like yourself again. Once you do, your libido will follow.

These tips are adapted from my book, ‘Self Care: The Breastfeeding Edition’

Sources:

1) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4901097/

2) https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/vagina-changes-after-childbirth/

3) https://www.google.ae/amp/s/amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/coconut-oil-as-lube-risks-and-benefits

Tags: breastfeedingBreastfeeding and sexbreastfeeding problemsDanielle Faceyfeel sexyfeeling sexualnew motherpostpartumpostpartum problemssexsex after babysexlifeThe Breastfeeding Mentor
ShareTweetSend
Previous Post

Taking pictures of breastfeeding mothers in public to be made illegal in England and Wales

Next Post

“I was told my son may not be able to breastfeed due to his complex medical needs”

Danielle Facey

Danielle Facey

A mother of one, Danielle Facey is a self care specialist with an MSc in Psychology. She qualified as a yoga and meditation teacher in 2014 after a period of personal upheaval following a miscarriage and the breakdown of her marriage. After embarking on a journey of self love, Danielle met the love of her life and gave birth to their son in 2019. After suffering from a nervous breakdown upon her return to work after maternity leave, Danielle decided to rededicate herself to postpartum self care and healing. Since that time she has been featured as a guest blogger on the websites, ‘Boobing It’ and ‘It Tastes Like Love.’ She recently wrote her first book: ‘Self Care: The Breastfeeding Edition’ which is available to pre-order on her website, www.thebreastfeedingmentor.com, now. Danielle draws on her expertise as a teacher with over a decade of experience to support new moms to practice self care in 1:1 mentoring sessions. Get 20% off your booking now with the discount code: FEELGOODMOM.

Next Post

"I was told my son may not be able to breastfeed due to his complex medical needs"

Please login to join discussion

Recommended

Stacey Solomon breastfeeding baby Belle

8 of the best celebrity breastfeeding moments from March 2023

4 days ago

“I was blown away by the amount of milk I was able to produce for my premature baby”

5 days ago

Become a boobingit member today. It's FREE!

Sign up today for the latest breastfeeding information & inspiration.

Sign Up Now!

Trending

Beautiful couple being romantic and passionate in bed

Let’s talk about Sex and Breastfeeding

January 10, 2023
celebrity breastfeeding photos 2022

8 celebrity breastfeeding moments that broke the internet in 2022

December 29, 2022
Weaning a nursing child from the breast or chest 

Weaning a nursing child from the breast or chest 

January 5, 2023
Boobingit

Boobingit is here to inform, inspire, and empower you as you navigate your own unique breastfeeding journey.

Follow Boobingit on social

Be part of boobingit.com

Become a Partner

Become a Contributor

  • About boobingit
  • Shop
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Contact Us

Copyright © 2020, Boobingit - for breastfeeders everywhere.

  • Login
  • Sign Up
  • Cart
No Result
View All Result
  • Mama Stories
  • Breastfeeding and…
    • Sleep
    • Covid19
    • Being prepared
    • Returning to work
    • Self-care
    • Showbiz
    • Style
    • The benefits
    • The challenges
    • Doing it longterm
  • Resources
    • Guides
      • Breastfeeding after giving birth
      • Breastfeeding after a c-section
      • Breastfeeding a baby in NICU
      • Breastfeeding the unsettled baby
      • Breastfeeding and Down Syndrome
      • Breastfeeding positions
      • Responsive feeding
      • Breastfeeding and teething
      • Breastfeeding in public
      • Breastfeeding at Christmas
      • Breastfeeding multiples
      • Expressing milk
      • Breast refusal
      • Bottle refusal
      • Tongue Tie in babies
      • Mastitis
      • Relactation and Induced Lactation
      • Breast milk soap
      • Babywearing
      • Weaning a nursing child
      • Transitioning baby to solid foods
    • A-Z Glossary
  • The Podcast
  • Contributors
  • Shop
    • Baby & Breastfeeding Essentials
    • Boobingit Merch
  • Buy Our Book

Sign up today to become a contributor and share your story!
Sign up now!

Copyright © 2020, Boobingit - for breastfeeders everywhere.

Welcome Back!

Sign In with Facebook
Sign In with Google
OR

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create a boobingit account!

Sign Up with Facebook
Sign Up with Google
OR

Fill the forms bellow to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In

Breastfeeding for Beginners – Latches, letdowns & leaky boobs

Out Now!

Shop Now

Are you sure want to unlock this post?
Unlock left : 0
Are you sure want to cancel subscription?