Dads of Breastfed Babies and How They Can Help

When the majority of dads hear that their partner is going to breastfeed, they may think, ‘yes, no night feeds for me!‘

But looking after your partner and baby postnatally is more than just about feeding. After having a couple of conversations with some dads recently to get their first-hand experience of being a dad to a breast-fed baby, I learnt about how best they supported their partners on their breastfeeding journey’s.

I asked them 5 standard questions;

1. What did you know about breastfeeding when your partner was pregnant?
2. Did you attend a breastfeeding preparation class?
3. Did you do any additional research?
4. How did your wider family support breastfeeding or did they?
5. How did you support your partner once baby was born?

A lot of expectant dad’s may think ‘I am not going to get much opportunity with the baby once they are born if my partner is feeding all the time’. But the truth is they will have plenty of time to bond with their baby in-between feeds, whilst also actively supporting their breastfeeding partner. When giving mum time to rest and refuel in between feeds, dad’s can baby wear, or take the baby for a walk in the pram, they can change nappies, or have some skin-to-skin time with their baby.”

Dads Feel Guilt Too

Once dad’s take their precious two weeks paternity leave and any additional holiday they may have, things can change very quickly in terms of how dad’s can help. One of the dad’s I spoke to talked about feeling extremely guilty for leaving his wife and baby and going to work all day knowing she would be alone to manage everything. See dad’s feel guilt too, they just do not openly talk about it.

Reading his comments I really felt his guilt too, as everything he wrote back to me began with “I tried,” like his text was written as if somehow, he had failed, as he tried to pick up all household chores after work. He seemed to feel guilty somehow that he could not give his partner a proper break once he returned to work. Honestly for me reading it, I was thinking you are probably doing more than any dad I know. He was so considerate, thinking about having enough food in the house each day for his partner, and making sure she had the right nutrition too!

For some dad’s they may have the option now of working from home a few days a week, and this can be incredibly useful once you have a new baby. I was very fortunate my own hubby has worked from home for a long time, so whilst he was on calls and our girl was asleep, he would take her in-between feeds and rest her on his chest and she would sleep. I could get proper deep sleep during this time, knowing she was looked after only two rooms away.

For some dad’s they may have the option now of working from home a few days a week, and this can be incredibly useful once you have a new baby.

Breastfeeding Mothers Need Their Rest

Now, I know I am lucky I can literally sleep ay any time if I am tired enough. I know a lot of mums find it hard to unwind and get that deep sleep they need during the day. But honestly even if you do not drift off, giving yourself time away from the baby and just lying down and even listening to music or reading a nice book, will help your mind rest and that can be just as important.

So, if you are expecting a baby soon and your partner will breastfeed, follow the tips below that I picked up from the dad’s I chatted to and what my own hubby did for me.

Tips For How Dads Can Support Breastfeeding Mums

– Be interested in breastfeeding, especially if your partner really wants to do it. Find out what will help her succeed, suggest you do a breastfeeding preparation class together or read some breastfeeding books together. If you cannot handle books try some you tube videos.

-Once baby arrives protect the baby bubble and what I mean by that is, give your partner a chance to get breastfeeding off to the best start. So, if they are any negative Nora’s in the family who do not support breastfeeding, keep them clear from visiting for a while until your partner has confidence feeding.

-Enjoy the newborn stage as much as you can. It is complete chaos, but do not over complicate it, by trying to leave the house five days after your baby is born. Let your partner rest, recuperate, stay in pyjamas and just feed. It is your job to make the food, bring it to her, and cut it into chunks so she can eat with one hand. Make sure she stays hydrated too.

Let your partner rest, recuperate, stay in pyjamas and just feed.

-If she thinks she is having issues feeding, listen to her and do not dismiss it. Have a list of support numbers stuck on the fridge so you can go to these when you need help. Get these ready during the last few weeks of pregnancy so you feel prepared for anything that will be thrown at you. Your partner will be tired and may not be able seek out the help she needs for herself or may blame herself if things are going wrong.

-If you can at all, take more than two weeks off. A full six weeks will get feeding established, get settled into family life but also allow you to enjoy it together without any guilty feelings. You will never have this time again especially on a first baby.

-Pick up the slack on household chores. If you do not know what your partner does around the house before baby arrives, make a list of who does what so you get a clear picture. Then discuss together how that will be managed post baby. It is so much easier to have these conversations pre baby, when everyone has had enough sleep.

-Sometimes your partner will not need any help, but she will need a sympathetic ear. She will want to whinge and cry and complain about lack of sleep or just how her whole life has turned upside down. Most men like to just fix the problem, sometimes fixing is listening and comforting.

-Feed feed feed your partner. There is literally nothing like the thirst and hunger your partner will experience when breastfeeding. It will ease but those first few weeks will be full on. Plenty of carbs, plenty of snacks and plenty of water will be required! If you are leaving the house for the day, make a plate of sandwiches for her and leave in the fridge, so she has something handy available in case she has a hard day with the baby.

-Finally, when she says she needs a break from the baby, encourage her to take it. She might need a 5-minute walk, she might need an hour’s rest, but be there when she is at breaking point. Having someone constantly depend on you all day is mentally and physically exhausting. Understand her need for this but also that she might be terrified of leaving the baby, so she needs to trust that you will call her once baby needs another feed.

Dads Can Help Support and Protect Breastfeeding Mothers

Dad’s you can be more support than you will ever actually know. We need you to champion, protect and feed breastfeeding mums to create another generation of breastfeeding mamas!

You can read more on how we can all play our part in supporting breastfeeding here.