I remember reading about how hard breastfeeding is and all the struggles that come with it, and being so discouraged during my pregnancy. But I knew I wanted try to breastfeed my son Manuel for at least three months. As a young mom I wasn’t sure if we’d be able to do it but breastfeeding has been such a gift for me and it’s helping me overcome the insecurities I have left from my pregnancy.
His first latch was amazing
When my son was born his first latch was amazing, and I was great at producing milk. I had a lot at the beginning but I was still upset at my body for not filling up two 6oz bottles during a pumping session, because all of the Instagram and Tiktok moms could do it. I hadn’t realized that my body only creates what is needed and my son didn’t need all that milk when he was born.
When we went home he would drink formula at night and breastfeed throughout the day or take a breast milk bottle. After two weeks he was off of formula and exclusively on breast milk, which I was so happy about.
When we went home he would drink formula at night and breastfeed throughout the day or take a breast milk bottle.
As time went on his latch was getting worse
I noticed around one month my son couldn’t hold on to my breast. He’d constantly spill his milk and bite my left breast, so I began to pump more than breastfeed. He didn’t allow me to use nipple shields, he would rip them off of me or cry until I took them off.
When he was around three months old I went back to our lactation consultant because I was constantly left sore and in discomfort or with clogged ducts. Our lactation consultant noticed a clicking noise when he fed and said his latch was not very good. From there we were sent to a specialist to see if Manuel had a tongue tie as all the signs pointed to ‘yes’.
Once we got to the specialist I was told he had a tongue and lip tie. After he got both fixed his latch became so great, I was thankful, but the biting never went away. He still continues to bite six months later.
I pump once a day to build up a stash
At this point in our journey I have 500 ounces of frozen breast milk in a deep freezer. I breastfeed all day and pump once a day for “just in case” bottles. The frozen breast milk is there to use in case we are going out of town, on a long car ride, shopping, etc.
The frozen breast milk is there to use in case we are going out of town, on a long car ride, shopping, etc.
I have never felt confident feeding in public. Manuel prefers to side lay while nursing and he likes to pop on and off while eating or smile at me while he eats, so I’ve never been able to feed him without feeling like he wouldn’t expose me. But he’s getting better at eating and we are actually able to feed in public, which is a huge accomplishment for me.
Trying to love my post-partum body
Becoming a young mother at the age of 21 has been a confidence boost yet discouraging all at the same time. Breastfeeding has made me feel empowered while still trying to overcome insecurities from my pregnancy, which slowly are starting to diminish.
I am in the middle of trying to love my 6 month postpartum body, while wishing I still looked the way I did before pregnancy. I tell myself I made a beautiful boy with this body, I nurture my son with my body. I do something amazing and I am forever grateful to be able to do so. I never truly realized how amazing a woman’s body was till I created little hands and feet.
There’s no end in sight for us now
I feel amazing at this point in our journey. From hoping to breastfeed for three months, to now breastfeeding for a whole six months, there’s no end in sight for us now! I am so excited to continue our breastfeeding journey. It is most definitely hard work. We’ve encountered so many obstacles but things continue to get better. Breastfeeding has made me much more confident and feel more empowered. I am so proud I am such a BADASS mother!!
We’ve encountered so many obstacles but things continue to get better.
You are more than welcomed to follow me on Instagram @delilahsky to keep up with Manuel and I’s journey as I’d love to get to talk with other breastfeeding mamas!
