After three years together my now-husband and I decided to try for a baby. We were so excited to start a family but after trying to conceive for two years we made the decision to go down the fertility route. This wasn’t plain sailing but eventually – against the odds – we got pregnant. During pregnancy, I knew I really wanted to experience breastfeeding my miracle baby. This is my story of trying to conceive, giving birth and breastfeeding.
After two years we tried fertility treatment
Back in 2010 my partner (now my husband) and I decided to try for a baby. We had been together three years and thought it was the right time. I was 22 and partner was 25. We had been trying for two years and nothing. So we decided to go down the fertility route. We had numerous treatments but all of them unsuccessful.
Then in May 2014 we had our last Intrauterine insemination (IUI) which lead to me having an ectopic pregnancy. I had to have surgery immediately as it was about to rupture. When I awoke from surgery my consultant told me we would try IVF/ICSI next. At this time I was 26 and I personally felt I was too young to go through this. I was emotionally and physically drained. I asked what our chances of natural conception would be. When they said it would be a miracle if I conceived naturally, I was heartbroken.
I was emotionally and physically drained. I asked what our chances of natural conception would be. When they said it would be a miracle if I conceived naturally, I was heartbroken.
Fast forward six years…
Roll on six years and on April Fools Day (of all days) I decided to take a pregnancy test. I hadn’t been feeling great but didn’t really think much of it. I had wanted to take a pregnancy test ‘just incase’ as we were due to go on holiday (if I’m due to start my period on holiday then I will take the pill so I just wanted to make sure nothing else was going on).
Anyway, I took the test and within seconds it was positive. I took a further eight tests and all of them were positive. I couldn’t believe it. We had conceived naturally…against the odds.
Apart from sciatica, my pregnancy was great
My pregnancy was great apart from sciatica. I would be asked if I wanted a girl or a boy. My reply was I want my baby to be healthy that’s all! Due to Covid restrictions my husband couldn’t come to scans which broke my heart. At the 20 weeks scan the sonographer asked if I’d like to know the sex of the baby. I said not without hubby so she wrote it on a piece of paper. I went to a baby store and picked a blue and pink outfit and said to the lady at the counter to look at the envelope and choose the outfit for whatever it said.
I don’t know why but I felt like I was having a boy. I even had a boy named picked out since 14 weeks. My husband had a name for a girl. At 26 weeks we went to meet our miracle and had a hd scan. It was so magical and hubby saw his baby on screen. We are having a boy!
I had harvested colostrum and wanted to breastfeed
My main focus and aim was to breastfeed. I was told to harvest colostrum from 37 weeks, just incase I couldn’t breastfeed. I managed to get 30 syringes containing a minimum of 1.5ml colostrum. Some even had 4ml…I was so proud.
I was told to harvest colostrum from 37 weeks, just in case I couldn’t breastfeed. I managed to get 30 syringes containing a minimum of 1.5ml colostrum.
It took me 3 days to produce a glisten of colostrum. I started Thursday and I would massage/express at 10am, 2pm and 6pm. I would do 5 minute each side and then by the Sunday it appeared. From then on it was easier to express it out.
There was concerns my baby was very big
Towards the end of my pregnancy I had to be monitored more closely as baby was measuring big. The 2nd to last consultant-led appointment I was told baby was going to be huge and at risk of shoulder dystocia and there was also a possibility that he may get stuck and need assistance getting out. So I decided on an elective c section as I wasn’t willing to risk my baby’s health and cause him stress.
On 24 November 2020 Greyson Alexander made his appearance. Although I was in love with him all the way through pregnancy, as soon as he was placed in my arms I felt whole.
Finally, breastfeeding my miracle baby!
My milk came in around 4-5 days after Greyson was born and wow I couldn’t believe it! Did I leak? Oh yes. I woke up the first night of my milk coming in and it was as if I’d wet myself. My hubby and I laughed it off. I brought pads and doubled them which helped. I didn’t realise when I fed from one boob the other would leak too. I’d fed Greyson on the left and had a Haakkaa just holding under my boob. I was told you can only leak/ or a boob can only hold so many ounces (I think it was 5oz I was told). Some days I would get will over 7oz no pumping, just it dripping from me.
My milk came in around 4-5 days after Greyson was born and wow I couldn’t believe it! Did I leak? Oh yes. I woke up the first night of my milk coming in and it was as if I’d wet myself.
My boobs in a morning would look amazing but at the same time hurt when Greyson started to fed and I could feel the letdown. Because they were so tender it was like a release. I brought so many bras in the end I got 3 pairs on Amazon for £15 and they are the best I’ve bought.
Our experience with thrush
When Greyson was almost a month old I got an internal infection where I had the c-section. I was put on two types of antibiotics. After I’d finished them I noticed I got thrush in my mouth (nasty taste) and my boobs hurt. It was as if someone had put tasers on my nipples. Bolts of lighting it felt like. It turned out the antibiotic caused nipple thrush too and would have passed to Greyson. So we were both treated for oral thrush.
At around this time my nipples also became sore and cracked, probably down to a bad latch at times. Oh my poor nips they looked raw. I wanted to put ice cubes on them but was told no they need to be warm. Nipple cream helped (not to mention it’s an amazing lip balm!).
Seven months in
Breastfeeding my miracle baby hasn’t been all plain sailing. We are almost 7 months into our journey and we still have the odd latch issue now mainly when Greyson is very hungry and just sucks the nipple into his mouth. We just have to adjust. There’s no teeth yet but with his gums he has bitten down a bit. I’ll go ‘ouch’ and he will look up and give me a cheeky smile. When he feeds, then stops and looks up and smiles at me, it’s just everything. He really does make my life so rich.
We also co-sleep and whilst some people disagree with this, it works for us. All I do if he fusses is get my boob out, attach him and he’s happy. There’s no getting out of bed, sterilising a bottle, and within a few mins he’s back asleep and dream feeds. When he’s scared, upset, poorly or hungry, my boobs help with it all.
We also co-sleep and whilst some people disagree with this, it works for us. All I do if he fusses is get my boob out, attach him and he’s happy.
We’ve no intention of stopping
I’m so proud of what we’ve achieved together. It’s both of us learning together and it’s our journey. I have given him life and I am his tree of life. I have enjoyed everything that’s come with breastfeeding – the bond, the goodness he’s getting, knowing again I’ve solely kept him alive on my milk. It’s amazing.
When people ask me how long will I breastfeed for I just say “for as long as he wants”. It’s my milky that’s provided every meal and nourished him and grew him.
I have enjoyed everything that’s come with breastfeeding – the bond, the goodness he’s getting, knowing again I’ve solely kept him alive on my milk. It’s amazing.
If given the chance, I’d love to breastfeed again
Whilst I would like to have many more children I’m not sure if this will happen. I have to remind myself I have the most precious little boy in the world. If he’s my only child then he has made my life complete. If I’m blessed again with another child that would be so amazing and I’d breastfeed again.
I am hoping to make my own breast milk soap soon and I would also like to have my breastmilk put into a necklace so I’ll always have this reminder of an incredible journey. Thank you for reading my story.
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