Being Pregnant And Diabetic Is Hard But I Am So Proud of My Three Miracle Babies

Imagine you have a balloon. Just one single balloon. From the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep you have to keep that balloon in the air. Whilst you’re making breakfast, going to the toilet, having a shower, driving, working… even when you’re asleep, you still have to keep that balloon in the air.

That’s Type One Diabetes for me and so many others.

Discovering I Was Type 1

After becoming incredibly poorly when I was 16, we discovered that I was Type One. I’d been peeing every 5 minutes, downing bottles of water like I was stranded in the dessert and lost so much weight. I was just over 6 stone.

Life wasn’t the same from that moment, revolving around finger pricks and insulin injections. A missed dose meant rushing to hospital. Low sugars resulted in raiding the cupboards and eating everything in sight.

I Always Knew I Wanted To Be A Mother

I knew from a very young age that all I wanted in this life was children of my own, but after getting diagnosed I was always told how dangerous diabetic pregnancies could be. They said there was a high risk of having a stillborn.

I remember on the 6th March 2018, when I stood looking at those two pink lines I felt both pure ecstasy and overwhelming fear. I’d been so sick for a few weeks and we just put it down to my sugars playing up, so I was already 6 weeks pregnant when we realised what the real reason was.

20 Hospital Admissions Whilst Pregnant

My worst nightmares began coming true. Melody’s pregnancy resulted in 14 hospital admissions and 3 false labours. There were moments when I never expected to meet my daughter. My sugars, whilst being the best they’d been in 8 years, were still erratic and I had to see my consultant every 4 weeks until 20 weeks, then every week until Melody arrived.

My sugars, whilst being the best they’d been in 8 years, were still erratic and I had to see my consultant every 4 weeks until 20 weeks

When it wasn’t my usual consultant seeing me, I’d be told over and over again that if I didn’t improve my sugars, I’d lose my baby. Imagine always having to keep that balloon up in the air whilst you’re throwing up because of your pregnancy, whilst you suffer with pain from the tubes of your kidneys being kinked from having a big baby, even whilst you end up developing severe polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid) and becoming the size of a whale!

It Was Hard No To Be Jealous Of Other Pregnant Women

I tried so hard to enjoy my pregnancy but I became jealous of other pregnant women. How was it fair that they could wake up and not be sick, not suffer pain every second, not have to worry about losing their baby.

To top everything off with a beautiful bow, I also suffered with an irritable uterus (which we only had diagnosed during my pregnancy with Felicity, who was born the following year). From arounf 18 weeks I had full blown contractions, which would last a day or two. Unfortunately it always resulted in hospital admissions. I became familiar with every pain medication available!

I had full blown contractions from around 18 weeks which would last a day or two and always resulted in hospital admissions.

Melody Was Born At 35 Weeks

Somehow, miraculously, Melody managed to stay put until 35 weeks and just after our growth scan, real contractions took over. 24 hours, lots of gas and air, pethidine, an epidural and two spinals later, she arrived via emergency cesarean. She didn’t breathe for the first 4 minutes and I remember panic washing over me.

My very worst fear was coming true and it was all my fault because I hadn’t looked after my sugars well enough. Every part of me prayed and suddenly, she cried. It was the most magical sound I’d ever heard and I let myself weep whilst they incubated her and rushed her off to the NICU, where she stayed for 5 days.

What upset me most during the pregnancy was the fact that I wouldn’t have so many problems if I wasn’t diabetic. Melody’s life wouldn’t have been in so much danger. She wouldn’t have weighed so much more than normal babies or given me such a difficult pregnancy. Those first few moments of her life, I lay open in theatre thinking that it was all my fault. It took a long time to realise that, as my grandad would say, ‘Such is life’. I tried my hardest to make everything as simple as I could, but unfortunately my illness just wouldn’t allow it.

When Pregnant With Felicity My Sugars Were Never Better

We lost 7 littles between Melody and Felicity, and I was told it was due to my sugars being so erratic and how poor my control was. So when Felicity stuck, we followed every rule in the book and my sugars had never been better. Yet I still suffered. I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, I developed polyhydramnios again and around 20 weeks I became bedbound for the rest of my pregnancy.

I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, I developed polyhydramnios again and around 20 weeks I became bedbound for the rest of my pregnancy.

Then at 23 weeks I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus, but unfortunately it was after Felicity threatened to come. Having to discuss with a doctor you don’t know what you’d decide to do if she was born unresponsive to help, or if she showed signs of being disabled, was one of the single most difficult discussions Matt and I have ever had. Thankfully, she stayed put until 32 weeks. Again, after a growth scan, I ended up being admitted. However, this time it was to be hospitalised until Felicity arrived.

What we found out the next morning was I was suffering a placental abruption. I was once again rushed through to theatre. She was perfect from the get go. She was out of the NICU within 2 weeks and I was back to my normal self.

We Lost Our First Boy At 10 Weeks

In May 2023, I lost our first boy at 10 weeks. We never found out if he was a boy, but I know in my heart he was. This time, instead of my doctor telling me it was down to my diabetes, she helped me realise that some things just happen.

I’d worked hard to keep my sugars stable, I’d done everything I could do, it just wasn’t meant to be.

One weird perk of being diabetic meant I was first on the list for the days surgery’s. I’ll never forget how kind and caring every member of staff that I encountered were. They made me feel a little bit less alone whilst dealing with the worst grief I’d ever felt.

My Third And Final Pregnancy

Thanks to an amazing diabetic team, and perhaps the fact Charlie was a boy, my third and final pregnancy went a lot smoother than the previous two. Well, until around 20 weeks when my irritable uterus reared it’s ugly head. My sugars were incredible throughout and it was only due to yet another placental abruption that Charlie arrived at 29 weeks.

Keeping that balloon in the air whilst pregnant was, on three occasions, the most difficult thing I’d ever done. But I did it and I have three truly miraculous children to prove it. I’m blessed to have received the amazing support and care from my diabetic teams throughout my pregnancies and together we helped kick diabetes butt!

You can read more about my birth and breastfeeding experiences with my premature babies here.

Bookmark