Breastfeeding my third son was sacred and beautiful, at times all-consuming, but also a lifeline when he was challenging and I was knee-deep in perimenopause.
I knew my son was autistic quite early on, but the social and speech challenges became very apparent between the ages of two and three. He was assessed at three and diagnosed with autism at four. It was a lonely time for me, especially as I was entering perimenopause. Breastfeeding, however, became a time where we could connect, particularly after a challenging day outside the house. It was truly a moment of calm in the chaos.
It was also a way for Gabriel to regulate, helping his busy mind relax and fall asleep.
Finding Calm in the Chaos
Gabriel breastfed for 3.5 years, often feeding like a newborn until he was two years old, something I believe may have been a sensory need linked to him being autistic. Those feeds were my calm in the chaos, and I sometimes really miss them.
Gabriel breastfed for 3.5 years, often feeding like a newborn until he was two years old.
The oxytocin released during breastfeeding created that indescribable feeling of love and connection, making tough days feel lighter.
The Challenges We Faced Early On
Of course, it wasn’t always easy. Early challenges such as tongue tie, reflux, and sleep deprivation tested us both. But once we’d learned the art of breastfeeding, it became my best mum hack for tiredness, illness, and falls… plus it’s eco-friendly, saves time, and avoids extra costs, unless you count the amount of online shopping you do in the middle of the night! Breastmilk truly is magic.
I don’t believe in the terms “fed is best” or “breast is best”— being informed and supported is what matters. Support isn’t always easy to access unless you pay for it, which I did, and it was worth it. Breastfeeding never came naturally to me with any of my three boys, even if it looks effortless in the photo shown below. I had to quickly master the walk-and-feed or I wouldn’t have got anywhere!
Support isn’t always easy to access unless you pay for it, which I did, and it was worth it.
What I Wish I’d Known About Perimenopause
Looking back, I wish I’d had better nutrition and vitamin support, especially as I entered perimenopause unexpectedly and knew very little about it at the time. I soon began to learn more through study, research, and speaking with other women.
Oestrogen is your “giving” hormone, and when that starts to decline, so does patience. I was often depleted, and having proper nutrition and good supplements on board would have made a real difference to my energy, recovery, and overall wellbeing while breastfeeding.
Looking back, I wish I’d had better nutrition and vitamin support, especially as I entered perimenopause
Advice for Parents Wanting to Breastfeed
My advice if you want to breastfeed: have the number of a lactation consultant to hand, speak to parents who’ve overcome feeding challenges, and look after yourself. Top tip: have home-cooked meals ready in the freezer for the postpartum period.
I’d also like to add that seeing an osteopath massively helped with Gabriel’s reflux. And take a shed load of breastfeeding photos, I’ll cherish mine forever.
