The street lights are bright. Older children are busy with festive activities at home and at school. Meals are being planned, food is being bought, and the holidays are rapidly approaching. Alongside all of this, there is an unspoken pressure placed on you as a new parent.
It often goes unspoken because everyone wants to see your small person. Your baby is who they want to hold, to cuddle, to kiss on the cheek, to hug. All while you may simply want to curl up in your pyjamas, continue establishing your feeding journey, and perhaps enjoy a cheeky mince pie, a slice of stollen, a potato latke or a sufganiyot – anything to keep you awake and energised.
I am writing this to tell you that it is okay to say no to social invitations.
No is a complete sentence.
You are allowed to speak up for yourself and your baby. You are allowed to prioritise the two of you without guilt or apology. Self-awareness and self-care are not selfish – they are essential, and they allow you to advocate for your needs during this time.
Your well-meaning friends, neighbours and family can support you. Support might look like ensuring you get rest, that you are hydrated and fed. It might mean holding your baby while you take a shower. But feeding your baby and responding to their needs are your festive goals – and that is more than enough.
It Is Not Selfish To Keep Your Baby Close
Your baby won’t be small for long. They will grow, and your feeding journey will evolve. It is not selfish to keep your baby close. You are not “making a rod for your own back.” You are creating a bond of safety and security – one that will support your child as they grow and thrive. You are listening, observing their cues, and meeting their needs. That matters.
It is not selfish to keep your baby close. You are not “making a rod for your own back.”
If family ask what you would like for the holidays, consider asking for practical help. Help with the never-ending laundry pile. A meal cut into fork-sized bites. (I can still clearly picture my father-in-law feeding me Chinese takeaway with a fork when my now five-year-old was tiny.) The opportunity to shower uninterrupted is a gift in itself.
But no – you do not need to, and should not feel pressured to, give formula so someone else can feed the baby. You are amazing. Your body is doing incredible things. Trust it. Embrace it. Honour it.
The pressure at this time of year is high for everyone. Support that might usually be available can evaporate, while expectations from others increase. Remember: you are not only your own voice, but also the voice of your baby – your festive choir of one small human. I have your back. I want you to succeed. Don’t make excuses. Don’t allow others to make you second-guess yourself or what matters most to you.
Remember: you are not only your own voice, but also the voice of your baby – your festive choir of one small human.
A side note: babywearing can also be a wonderful way to keep your baby close while giving you a free hand to enjoy a meal – or even a cheeky tipple.
Wishing you a gentle, joyful December and into January. May your feeding journey continue to flourish as 2026 begins.
