By breastfeeding my third child I felt I was doing what was right for us and no one else

When I found out I was expecting my third baby in 2019 I was absolutely determined that this time round I would be able to make breastfeeding work. I’d attempted to breastfeed my older two girls but didn’t feel supported or educated enough to continue to breastfeed confidently. But I didn’t want history to repeat itself once again so I made sure to properly prepare and do my research about breastfeeding for baby number three.

I have two girls (age 4 & 5) and when they were born I attempted to breastfeed. My reasons for stopping were lack of support, medication (I was misinformed about the tablets I had to take due to my medical condition, Ménière’s disease) and I also felt that I had no support. I felt I was uneducated, out of my depth and no one to turn to for help and guidance. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated that I just had to stop feeding them. 

Third time’s a charm

In early 2019 when I was around 6 months pregnant I started to spend my evenings learning, researching, and looking at the breastfeeding support groups on Facebook to educate myself in every way possible. I was so determined that this time breastfeeding would work. I contacted a few professionals in regards to the medication I was taking and I felt confident that I could carry on taking it with no issues. 

When Orlando was born in September 2019 after a super speedy birth, I put him straight to the breast and he was a total pro. He fed for around one hour and I was so pleased. I felt so at ease this time round because I was armed with everything I had learnt during my pregnancy.

When Orlando was born in September 2019 after a super speedy birth, I put him straight to the breast and he was a total pro. He fed for around one hour and I was so pleased.

I felt like I knew what to expect this time round. I did struggle with latch to begin with but a lovely lactation consultant came round on day one to help me. 

Things were hard to begin with

Orlando had a tongue tie which wasn’t picked up until he was 8 weeks old, so the first 8 weeks were very difficult. Along with this he was showing signs for a dairy allergy so I had to cut dairy out of my diet, I also had a very forceful let down so he would choke and splutter each time he began to feed. For what felt like forever he was having really small feeds every 20 mins or so. It wasn’t until he had his tongue tie cut that things began to get easier and he could manage longer feeds.

Orlando had to learn to latch properly again due to having a shallow latch for the first couple of months which was quite difficult. I remember calling my lactation consultant from the hospital and crying to her down the phone many times saying that I just couldn’t do it anymore. Each time she helped me, explained why these things could be happening and encouraged me not to give in on a bad day. 

Before we knew it things got better

After about 11 weeks things suddenly fell into place. Everything seemed to be just perfect. Orlando had learnt to latch again and he was finally feeding for much longer and having a couple of hours between feeding. My supply began to adjust so the forceful let down was no longer an issue. I also feel like Orlando had kind of gotten used to that, so when it did happen he was able to keep up bless him.

One night Orlando ended up bedsharing with me. It turned out to be such a godsend as I found it super easy to just feed him in the night as he was already right next to me. No crying or fussing. 

Venturing out and about 

When things finally calmed down I finally felt a bit more confident to go out and feed whilst out and about . For the first few visits I was so scared and stressed.

In my attempts to feed him I would fumble about, trying to hold my top up and a cover over us both so I wouldn’t be “exposing myself”. If anything, I actually think all my fumbling attracted more attention. 

In my attempts to feed him I would fumble about, trying to hold my top up and a cover over us both so I wouldn’t be “exposing myself”. If anything, I actually think all my fumbling attracted more attention. 

Fast forward to now 

Orlando is now 20 months, we are still feeding day and night. He is a total Booby monster. I feel so so proud of how far we have come. I love how boob solves everything. Thirsty? Boob. Overwhelmed? Boob. Overstimulated? Boob. Tired? Boob. Teething? Boob. Boob solves literally everything and now we are hitting the “terrible twos” and Orlando is beginning to have a few meltdowns, boob just calms him. It’s amazing, it definitely feels like having a super power. Something I never had when my girls were little.

I also never ever use a cover in public anymore. If Orlando needs to feed I will just feed him and not give it a seconds thought. I wish I had done this from the start. I find not worrying about a cover makes feeding in public much less stressful. 

We are always learning as parents 

With Orlando being our third child, I feel like I’ve really done what has felt right for me as a mother. Whereas with my girls, I massively felt like I did what others had told me to do/not to do. This time round I did what was right for us.

With Orlando being our third child, I feel like I’ve really done what has felt right for me as a mother. Whereas with my girls, I massively felt like I did what others had told me to do/not to do

We are happily breastfeeding on demand at 20 months, bedsharing, attachment parenting, not strict with bedtimes etc and we just feel this works perfectly for us as a family. 

My advice 

The advice I would give to any mum who would like to be able to breastfeed is learn as much as you can before baby is born. Know what to expect, especially with phases like cluster feeding. I would also say to do what you feel is right, go with what you feel works right for you as a family and not what people tell you you should do. Get in touch with your local support groups and lactation consultants so you know who to call if you should need support. Lastly, drop the cover. Don’t be afraid to feed in public, you’re feeding your baby and that’s all that matters in that moment. Don’t worry about anything else.