When my daughter was five, I experienced a psychotic breakdown and subsequently spent time in a psychiatric unit. She was 5 years and 5 months at the time, in reception at school, with sparkling blue eyes that could light up a room. I was also a solo parent.
A Breakdown and Stigma Around Nursing
The hospital staff, whilst trained to meet my mental health needs, were clueless about natural-term nursing – and about how stopping suddenly would affect my already fragile mental health. The hormone drop was real and given our history of several nursing strikes (and a host of other obstacles) I was acutely aware of it. I was also aware of the benefits of nursing for my own mental health, but due to my illness I had lost the ability to vocalise and articulate anything – least of all my wishes.
The hospital staff, whilst trained to meet my mental health needs, were clueless about natural-term nursing
When a friend brought my daughter to visit, I sat and nursed her. Within moments, a staff member walked past and tutted disapprovingly. Minutes later, a safeguarding report was filed against me – for the “crime” of feeding a child who “had teeth, attended school and ate solid food.” Thankfully, when investigated, the report was dismissed immediately. Still, the experience left me painfully aware of the stigma attached to nursing an older child.
Fast Forward to 2025
Today, my eldest is 12 years old, and I am also mum to my son, who has just turned five. I recently went on holiday to Spain with my daughter while my son stayed home with my partner.
Whilst away on holiday for a week, I noticed I was leaking milk. My body hadn’t forgotten, even though my son hadn’t fed all week.
When I arrived home after seven days apart, my son seemed unimpressed to see me, but he ran at my chest and kissed my breasts, exclaiming: “Yay, my milkie is back – I’ve missed you!”
I explained to him that because he has not had milk for a week it may take a extra minute for my breasts to get the message to enable the milk to flow once more. He laughed and began to feed, stopping briefly to remark “It’s here, Mama!” before continuing. I must admit I was emotional whilst feeding him as I wasn’t sure if he’d have decided to wean in my absence.
More Than Just Milk
Reuniting with my son after a week apart made me reflect on just how powerful our children’s relationship with their milk is and how they place such trust in us to provide them. Our milk is far more that milk to them, it is safety, security and attachment and more.
Our milk is far more that milk to them, it is safety, security and attachment and more.
So when is the time to wean? For us, certainly not yet. But I know when the day does come, it will be just as emotional as that very first feed.
My eldest weaned at 7 years and 4 months and you can read about our journey here.
