Social Media, Breastfeeding, and Finding Your Community Online

Like many mums I am on social media but only the ones for ‘old people’. I’m yet to branch into TikTok. I love the escapism and I love that I get a glimpse of lives so vastly different from mine.

I don’t mind seeing a video of a nursery which contains a crib worth thousands of pounds and only wooden toys knowing that my children have often slept in my bed and love an annoying light up toy with an abrasive song. A song which I will know by heart. 

When Social Media Feels Like Too Much

Social media is great – until it isn’t. Sometimes, especially when you feel fragile in the immediate postpartum phase, or even two years down the line, it can feel like everyone else has it together except you.

What I am personally struggling with is seeing swaddled newborns being fed formula on social media accounts. As a nurse and mother, I support women in feeding their babies however they choose. But I can’t help but notice the inconsistency when it comes to celebrating those choices.

When influencers post about formula feeding, they’re widely applauded for doing what’s right for them—their mental health, their sleep (although not always), their ability to share the feeding experience with their partners. And yet, when women publicly celebrate their breastfeeding journeys—especially extended breastfeeding—there’s often backlash.

The Double Standard on Breastfeeding Content

On a Christmas video I participated in, which applauded the work of breastfeeding women and was published by Boobingit, we were accused of shaming formula feeding. We weren’t. We were applauding ourselves and each other. We were publicly displaying our pride in each other. We were supporting women who had breastfed in any capacity, for any duration.

So why the animosity? Why are social media platforms suspending accounts that show videos of birth and breastfeeding, whilst simultaneously flooding our feeds with women in micro bikinis and unattainable figures for the majority of people let alone mothers.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by boobingit (@boobingit)

The Challenges of Breastfeeding and Bottle Refusal

At the time of writing this my daughter is now 6 months old and she is refusing all bottles. She took a bottle of pumped expressed breast milk every single day from one month to four months old. Then she stopped and it felt awful. I felt shackled to her. I couldn’t get a break, and I could envision my chances of getting a full night sleep going down the drain.

Then I felt frankly a bit angry. I was breastfeeding again (still) and I was resentful of my choice and my husband’s useless nipples. I felt so ashamed of my anger.

I love breastfeeding and have been feeding since 2022. I’m not shackled to my daughter, I am her mother. It’s my job to nurture and nourish her. Ultimately, if that means being her sole source of nutrition then that’s ok. And besides, I’ve only spent two nights away from my son since he was born in September 2022—maybe my happy place is right here, with my family.

The Social Media Comparison Trap

Whilst I’m actually very much at peace with my situation I couldn’t help but feel slightly sad every time I looked at social media and saw friends, family and strangers enjoying nights out or trips away whilst knowing that they had young children.

I am so happy for these people and I am so aware that they will have their own struggles with parenting. I am not claiming that they have life easy. I am purely a tad jealous of their freedom.

Curating My Social Media for Positivity

So how could I enjoy the fantasy of social media – the GRWM and luxury baby wear – without feeling isolated when I look at my phone?

Simple: I flooded my social media feed with lactation consultants and pro-breastfeeding pages.

Some of my favourites breastfeeding social media accounts include:

• @olivia_lactation_consultant – I love the wit and sass of Olivia Hinge, a clinically practicing midwife who delivers babies for a living. She shares evidence based lactation advice and calls out BS misinformation online.

• @lucywebberfeedingsupport_ibclc – Lucy Webber is a lactation consultant who really supports women to feed how they want to. She frequently posts empowering quotes about motherhood to get that oxytocin flowing on the endless late night feeds.
• @emmapickettibclc – Emma Pickett, the Yoda of breastfeeding, her podcast ‘Makes Milk’ was one of my only source of guidance about tandem feeding. She features a lot of older children breastfeeding and some gorgeous photos of tandem feeding.

• @thebreastfeedingmentor – Danielle Facey is a woman who has turned her breastfeeding journey into a platform to empower and encourage breastfeeding parents. Mixing evidence based research with her personal warmth, her page is invaluable for people looking for support to start, continue or stop breastfeeding with love.

Finding a Community Through Boobingit

I have found a community by writing for Boobingit. Having a platform to share my thoughts about breastfeeding and motherhood has been so helpful. On the nights where I feel like the only person awake at night, messaging these women and seeing their success makes my heart so full.

Seeing the beautiful photos of women feeding their children fills me with so much pride. I have experts and cheerleaders at my fingertips, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Make Social Media Work for You

Social media is great – until it’s not.

If it’s making you feel anxious, isolated, or not enough—curate your feed. Find accounts that uplift and empower you. Because trust me, there’s a community out there that thinks you are amazing.